The subject line means I tolerate Halloween and put a very little bit of thought into my costumes. Lying in bed this morning, I mentally searched through my wardrobe and storage items for my costume. For instance, today I took the liberty to not shave, don a flannel, boots and snow cap, and boom=lazy lumberjack. (No props…I didn’t bring in an ax to work or anything…cuz that just seemed weird and almost criminal…but I still have an ax to grind about Halloween! )
I’m coining the term, Halloweennazis, to define the people who make it mandatory for adults to dress up for Halloween.
I get it, I’m all for Halloween for kids, and maybe even college students and girls in their 20s as an excuse to dress up. But, for a grown man, putting on a costume and playing dress up, yeesh, that frightens me more than any haunted house tour.
It probably doesn’t surprise you, I’m also not the guy who gets elaborate with decorations-turning my front lawn into a graveyard or pining up skeletons to my trees. To get in the (ghostly) spirit, we carved a few pumpkins and put them on the porch. I will let you guess the one I carved.
But, again, this “holiday” is for kids, and my kid, Cash, is dressing up. As a dinosaur. (Though all week, I’ve been incorrectly saying he was going as a Dragon…to be fair, he’s not really choosing this outfit, so I don’t feel as much pressure to get it right.)
We’ll take him around our block, our local mall-yeah, some shops give out candy, that’s a thing now-and call it a (fright) night.
I don’t love Halloween but I love my kid, so I’m going to have to experience it one way or another. At least, there is chocolate involved.
Christmas has a Scrooge, so why not Halloween? A Boo-ge? What would that costume look like? A ghost with folded arms and an angry face? A Dracula with his cape over his head? A dino-sorry?
Sorry, Halloweennazis…what more do you expect from a lazy lumberjack?